You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
