guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Houston, we have a blender
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize