The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
a search helicopter?!
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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