Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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