saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
