He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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