you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
There was a lot of him and a little penis
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
