my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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