hotel room ftw
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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