ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize