Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
she was so not down for the gang bang
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
