Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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