No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
