I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
