oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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