I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
im six kinds of drunk right now
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
