No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
