I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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