Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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