therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I faked an abortion last night.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Randomize
