Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
