I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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