It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
