I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Randomize
