I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize