We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
