I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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