Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
