I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
