Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
