Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
