i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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