Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
