It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
