Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My legs feel like baby dolphins
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
