I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize