Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
