if i can run in heels then i can drive
I faked an abortion last night.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize