you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
