Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
