I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize