If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
