but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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