i was born a porn star she said
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
