It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
