I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
