I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
