Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Dick very happy bro
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
