i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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