Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
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