pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
smell my finger.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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