I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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