Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
