Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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