So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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