I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
