i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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