Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
