i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
