My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
