I haven't been this sober since birth.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
