Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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