Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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