no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
