She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
