I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
