toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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