Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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