I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You're like the curious george of whores
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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