This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
