so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
