I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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