he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
