Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
