Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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