what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
