Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
