we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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